Unfortunately I lost out genetically when it came to being able to inflict any pain due to my small, weak wrists, so I had to settle with just seething silently from the other side of the room every time he opened his mouth.
His first crime against me was simply getting dressed that morning. We're at uni, there's no need for you to bring out your best Man2Man wear on a weekday morning. Your stupid, shiny, square-toed dress shoes are not appropriate for the class room, they just make you a target for ridicule. Save it for The Shed on a Saturday night, I'm sure there's a girl with a cowl neck top just waiting to make out with you up against the corrugated walls of the dance floor to the sweet soundtrack of Airbag playing a Good Charlotte cover.
Secondly he's one of the knobs who likes to ask inane questions to prove he is smarter than the teacher. He's that guy that points out a spelling mistake on the powerpoint. Yes, we are aware that 'togethe' was meant to be 'together', the tutor is a journalist with over ten years experience and corrects hundreds of articles a week, it was clearly a small error that hurt nobody, there's no need to raise your hand, stop the whole class and ask her if she realised her mistake.
Thirdly I just know he's going to grow up and work some place where he weilds a small amount of power in a stupidly titled position like 'assistant directing communications pathways manager' and makes sure everyone knows it. No one will know exactly what it is that he does but he likes to remind everyone to 'report back to me on that' or other sentences that use the term 'feedback'. But it's ok because one day he'll make an innapropriate sexual joke about what a female employee did on the weekend and she'll kick him in the balls so karma will turn out in my favour.
There's a whole bunch of people at uni that I wouldn't miss if I never came into contact with them again..
There's that girl who needs to shut the hell up before the start of a lecture. She's the one talking really loudly to other people about what she did on the weekend. She uses the term "boyf" in a sentence and when she quotes herself talking to him she's all like "And then I was like 'baaabe you were meant to get me Midori and pineapple juice not lemonade!' and he totally went back and got it for me and I got so drunk, was so hilar!"
And you just know she uses "LOL" in every single one of her text messages, even if there was no joke to laugh out loud at in the first place.
She's also the girl that sits in front of you in the tutorial with her laptop open and you can see her desktop wallpaper is a massive photo of her and one of her friends dressed as slutty sailors or raunchy mechanics, doesn't matter as long as she can get her boobs out and her bum showing.
There's that girl who loves the sound of her own voice when she's debating something in class. But in reality she never really says anything that means something because all her sentences begin with "Well personally I think that it depends on the situation..." and then she says something completely inane and pointless but thinks she sounds very diplomatic and poignant. This girl is also always dressed like a grandma in ugly brown cardigans and ballet slipppers, she thinks it's 'alternative', I think she looks like she'd smell like mothballs and gravy.
There's that girl who loves the sound of her own voice when she's debating something in class. But in reality she never really says anything that means something because all her sentences begin with "Well personally I think that it depends on the situation..." and then she says something completely inane and pointless but thinks she sounds very diplomatic and poignant. This girl is also always dressed like a grandma in ugly brown cardigans and ballet slipppers, she thinks it's 'alternative', I think she looks like she'd smell like mothballs and gravy.
There's always that one guy who shakes his leg too much like a nervous Chihuahua. He never realises he's doing it but he sits there bouncing his leg up and down making your entire desk shake and you just want to reach over and slap him, but you don't because you keep thinking 'no he'll stop soon, he's gotta stop soon.' BUT HE NEVER DOES! And then before you know it you've missed all the information about your next assignment because you too busy restraining yourself and silently willing him to die.
There's that annoying guy that needs constant reassurance on his work even though he's on a HD and not going anywhere(and he knows it). He's guaranteed scramble up and ask the lecturer ten questions after class even though they just finished the class with 'any questions?'
Uni is full of infuriating, useless and just plain dumb people. Sometimes it annoys me, other times I just take it as reassurance that it'll be easier to get a job when I know what my competition is like...
