Junk email is lame.

Why does my Hotmail account assume I am male? I got all excited before when I opened my account and it said Inbox (7), I assumed seven of my nearest and dearest had written to me to express their love and admiration for me. But no, it was just seven strange scams\business\loney people all vying for my money\love\excess kilos of fat.

Then I go to thinking that if someone stumbled across my email account after I left it open they could deduct the following things about me purely based on my emails...

1. I am male
2. I am a fat male who needs the help of ACA1 weight loss pills
   
3. I am a fat male with a teeny tiny wang that needs to be enlarged with some pills that I can easily get on a !##$__FR33 TrIaL__$##!
4. I am a fat male who needs a larger manhood and also an extension on my warranty for a car that I may or may not have even bought.
   
5. I am a fat male with a chode, a long warranty and am one of a select few eligible for a FREE NETWORK CABLE DISH!!OMG!!
6. I am a fat male with no penis, a monster of a warranty, a fully sick radar and I also have a friend called Dr MaXman who likes to email me about his AS SEEN ON TELEVISION muscle building pills.
   

So after this nosy person has scoured my emails they may think I am a fat male with limited sexual prowess, a massive fuck off warranty, a sweet TV channel selection, and an awesomely named friend MaXman who gave me massive biceps. . . they may also assume I am a complete loser.

But if they kept looking they would come to my last email and then it would all make sense, despite all my shortcomings in the bedroom\personality\life in general, I am totally wanted, because "Lyuda 1" is seeking "a sincere sugar daddy" and she chose me. She likes dancing, breakfast and complaining about movies apparently, but most importantly she thinks she is in love with me and wants to escape "beautiful Ukraine" because I mean more than home.
My inquisitive stickybeak would then realise that I am also rich because I obviously have enough money to send Lyuda 1 the $5400 for her plane ticket to "wherever I am".